my Journal

Life Lesson 1,284,359…

So if you don’t like reading personal stuff, like it makes you feel uncomfortable, then maybe you should stop reading. In fact, in a photography group I’m a part of, I’ve had people tell me that I shouldn’t talk about this because it’s too personal? But it’s my life…so sorry, ya’ll!

Peter lost his job. It was not a complete shock, as his company filed bankruptcy a two months ago. They were trying to reorganize and sent out emails about buying new airplanes, Peter was sent to training again…so we were trying to stay positive. And then he called me to say he’d be home early.

So now what? Somewhere in me, I knew this would stir up a lot. Emotionally, of course, but I’m talking about the REAL yucky stuff.  But we needed it.  You see, I’ve never been a career girl. I worked in a law firm during college, and got a master’s in psychology, that I literally didn’t do anything with. I opened a business with an ex, and after seven years, my heart wasn’t in it.  Becoming a mom came at the perfect time. THAT was my job. I can’t say I’ve loved every second of it, but I’ve always thought, “there’s no amount of money that I would take to miss all of this.”  But now we’re here, with no income, and it’s definitely changed the game. And you know what, I didn’t crumble like I thought I would. In fact, I’m writing and taking pictures like my life here depends on it…because it does.

We’ve been living a darn good life. We are a part of the VERY small percentage of people who have clean water, shelter, education, etc.

A few months ago I was listening to my fave writer, Wayne Dyer and he spouted off some crazy statistics. Basically he condensed the entire world’s population down to 100 people.

6/100 people in the world hold 59% of the wealth.

50/100 people are malnourished.

1/100 people are college educated.

1/100 people own a computer.

Last week (after the not so great news) I went to buy celery, eggs, rice and chicken…a luxury to like 2% of the world. There was a young girl who kindly ask if I could donate money or food for less fortunate kids this Christmas…and being the blubbering weakling I am, I burst into tears. She felt awful and I scurried away, wiping tears from my very embarrassed face. And then THREE milliseconds later, I realized what a jerk I was.  We’re counting every single penny acting like we’re in this huge crisis (but in reality it’s NOT), and there are SO many kids who have it much, much worse. Peter and I have amazing families on both sides that immediately offered help…and here I was being selfish and throwing myself a pity party.

So what happens when your second biggest fear comes true? Another day passes, the world keeps turning, and you realize there are still a million things to be really grateful for…mainly love.


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